Main Menu
Search Site

powered by FreeFind
going down the wrong road
Among the e-mail this morning was this request for assistance, it comes from someone who has bought into a 2,000 year old lie and not into what is needed spiritually in a modern world. One can see in this man\'s story that everything is still about \'himself\' rather than about service to Spirit. Very few people seem to understand the higher spiritual worlds and the fact that their is \'warring\' going on on every different level up even into the various dimensions of Soul where past history of Creation has taught us that parts of the Creator Beings split off to manifest this experience of self-will for Creation, even though it never was in the cards so to speak. THis is the history told in the so far 8 volumes of Where Were You before The Tree of Life? It\'s not all cleaned up yet, but with the healings of Thoth and Lucifer and others, the trickle down effect can at least begin . . . and hoepfully what They suggested for this man about fresh beginnings may also make a difference for him.

\"Please can you help me I am in extreme despair and do not feel I can carry on much longer. I need help. My name is Kelvin B, I am living near Moses mountain in the Sinai desert I am 37 years old. I am totally lost .. I am writing to ask your help and guidance and healing, I am not in a position to offer money at this time is it okaY? I am in absolute desperate emergency I have been suffering demonic atack and possession for 18 months,sometimes coming as astral entities and sometimes as ET energies, they are deep inside my body and mind. I have been praying 24 hours but my prayers have burned out and my energy is just darkness I cannot connect with Jesus and God and the Higher beings and angels who guided me very closely for 15 years before, towards service and love, since 18 months I am falling backwards I cannot find a way back.Its like I am totally invaded I am totally in confusion and hopelessness since the bad energies are mimicking the good energies and i cannot trust any thought in my head or anything that comes out of my heart. This started after I had a girlfriend who was possessed in a way and after we split up after 8 years of celibacy I started to masturbate which Spirit didnt want me to do as I was holding a high frequency also I did some very stupid things and didnt stop smoking when God asked me to and I am totally overcome by these addictions which stop me getting better. I am getting visual distortions, seeing black light everywhere, and often falling into despair. I made a breakthrough a few times but its like walking on a fine string and when I lost it every time I fall down more and more into apathy and despair. I cannot find any love or good inside my heart I am feeling often a lot of suicidal stuff going on. The angels are being very hard with me, and the demons have put me in a kind of false-warm-narcosis. It sounds crazy maybe but unless I can hear Gods voice inside like I used to I am unablew to function apart from satisfying hunger and thirst they have made me really selfinsh I was so full of light before and service I just cant find any truth willpower or integrity I deserve to be dead and in hell. My mind is totally polluted and my heart is frozen. I desperately need help from someone with clear sight but Im afraid any more to talk about it to anyone I just sit for hours a day praying but cannot find faith or any way to purify myself I have been trying to fast after in the beginning of this God told me to fast for celibacy but again and again am failing in this, also I try with all my strength to stop smoking but keep caving in. Since the angels asked me to stop smoking every cigarette is hurting my energy and my soul more. I am really trapped in a very dark space I need Jesus to lift me up and pull me out but He doesnt I feel so seperate from Him I used to be able to hear His voice all I want is to hear it and have some strength to follow it. I am praying for a miracle. Please please if you can ask Spirit if there is any way forward for me I am so tired of falling down again and again. I used to be healer and musician and teacher for children in art and ceramics and music living totally by donations now I cant do any of those things I can hardly even get it together to wash my clothes. My spirit is tired/exhausted/dead. I need big big grace and mercy and purification and reconnection. Every day is getting rapidly further from Spirit.I am feeling totally dead inside, just darkness and a kind of narcotic inorganic apathetic evil false warmth which is I am also being dragged into into in my dreams. I am asking if you can help me bring back all the good things I used to have inside me before all this devstation and find my way be again guided, to connect again with Jesus, to find and have strength to follow my highest service and destiny. I was given a vision about two months ago that I met my twin soul and we were being shown by Jesus how to heal people from AIDS an we were going to Africa to help there. It is all I want from this life. But it seems so far away.God is asking that I stop smoking and fast for celibacy until death if I have to in order to deserve this, my spirit is willing but the physical pressures are too strong I am full of cravings all the time. Overcoming nicotine is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do, especially with the stress of being interfered with all the time. But every cigarette makes the problem deeper. I feel, no, am experiencing, my soul is contanimnated and I have no idea how to clean it, my mind is constantly being inrtercepted and is not working for me. i want to be cleaer again and connected with God. I want to love and hear God again my heart is frozen cold. My mind is so polluted by these bad energies I cannot think for myself. I am trapped. I need help .Inthe last few days they are putting implants in my dreams, one was to stop mebeing able to ask for divine forgiveness with integrity, and another to attach themselves to my soul. I am trying to spend all the time in service picking trash and helping with chores, also I am making small clay flutes to give to the local bedouin children and a few to sell.Sometimes I broke through and get signs or grace or messages but when I lost it its alwys like I went up one step and fall down three. I thankyou so much even for reading this far, please write back if you can help or if you know someone who can, Im sorry as I said I dont have money but i have a lot of clay flutes i have made and can send one or more if you would accept one Kelvin B\"

2008-08-03