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what s it going to be like . . . ?‏

"What will it be like going through eternity knowing that the lifetime
that really counted you didn't step up to bat?"

That's a line from the channelings of the Nine in the book The Only
Planet of Choice. It's a line that made me stop and think for back in
the 80's before I knew what an important lifetime this was I had come
to somewhat the same idea. At age 38 I hadn't done much of anything, was
going through at least my hundredth Groundhog Day experience and didn't
see much of a future going on the way I was going. If you don't like
what your getting then stop doing what you're doing - so I changed my
direction and went back to school. I remember the day vividly. The phone
call to a f riend. Stopping in at the college to see what was possible.
Filling out some paperwork. And all of a sudden there was direction in
my life. It was still very nebulous, but as Spirit always does, It
doesn't show you the end result of what you've begun because there are
always too many crossroads, twists and turns, people trying to get you
off track, and of course your own uncertainty but at least I had my feet
on a path.

From then on it was just doing one day at a time. The college part was
fun, and three years from the day I entered college to do
'something/anything' I found myself in Reno, NV teaching a college
course while getting my Master's degree. Twenty years earlier almost to
the day I could remember passing through Reno on a Greyhound bus as a
tourist to the United States, never even imagining that I would one day
live in the US let alone teach University in this very city. It's the ay
life goes for soem of us isn't it? Some need structure and to know where
they're going before they set out. They're not usually the ones who find
any spiritual greatness in life. Spirit is too fluid a substance to ever
be constrained for too long. And of course as Enron and the events
since showed us all, there is no real security on this planet, in this
lifetime (in particular). Paul Twitchell used to have a saying, "The
meek shall inherit the earth but only the bold and adventurous shall see
God" and of course there are so very few bold and adventurous ones out
there and so so very few who even get a glimpse of the awesomeness and
simplicity of that thing they term 'god'.

The Matrix does its job well, but people's own weakness and lack of a
'bold and adventuresome Spirit' keeps the Matrix in its place --
(although dying as it is in the ascension process and taking so many
people with it.)

No one knows better how difficult it can be to see or think about a
future for one's self, and it was only that 'ah-ha' moment of glimpsing
a non-future without my choice to do something that allowed me to get up
and change where it was I was headed for.

So much of what my recent mission has been about is giving some people a
chance to make amends for their darkened pasts just as I was given the
chance. Over the Labor day weekend while Bobby and I were on the road
doing grid work, I was also asked to sit in on a 'hearing/trial' on the
spiritual planes of someone I knew in the physical who had a very very
dark past as part of the ruling dark hierarchy over so many lifetimes.
This was a woman who had both tried to help and hinder me in my work in
this lifetime, one who treated people like animals in this lifetime just
as she had over all those past lifetimes. There were many brought to
bear witness to her deeds before the Council of Light, factual details
of her deeds both good and bad.

Now over the course of working with so many people I've dealt with so
many who were willing to do the forgiveness part of the process of
healing, but none except perhaps myself who would up to doing the making
amends part. I had tried to work with this woman on that aspect as well.
Separated from her dark energies, she flailed around to continue doing
things the old way she knew so well, but things weren't the same with
the shifting energies of the planet. But how long does Spirit wait for
someone to 'wake up' to who and what they are?

In the end, the 'sentence' for that's in fact what it is, was this soul
was sentenced to the equivalent of ten thousand lifetimes in a 'prison
environment' as the punitive aspect of her deeds, a place where it will
be that 'lesser being' in order to know and understand that all souls
have equal worth and none are greater or lesser in the eyes of the
FATHER. How soon that souls learns this lesson does not mitigate the
punitive aspects of her deeds. That is why Guidance has me try so hard
to wake people up to what their pasts have been, what needs to be done
to make reparations, and what the consequences will be should they not
get moving with the process. So many times Guidance has had me stress
the point that this is the lifetime that counts, that this lifetime
offers greater opportunities for spiritual advancement, spiritual
service,and for healing that will possibly ever come again, because of
the uniqueness of what has taken place here andwhat is and is about to

Hence the energies invested in putting a little thought into 'what's it
going to be like going through eternity knowing you didn't step up to
bat' may just be well worth it.

In service, still,